Cosy conversations

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Pulling petals...

She loves me
A sweet night
With stars scattered wide.
Her eyes hold mine.
Dreams are lavish
Hope is kind
And the script is mine.

She loves me not
The harsh sun
Reveals her blind gaze
Sweeping over me.
My pen falters,
I lower my eyes
And dare no dreams.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Bubble

Clumps of people
Thousands of eyes
Questions, opinions
Unwanted, unsought
Unwelcome

Meandering paths
Earphones, alive music
Voices rendered impotent
Letters on dry pages
Barring intercourse

Self-exiled
With trunks packed to the brim with words
In the land of the deaf and blind

Friday, December 19, 2008

Again

Streets flanked by dusty bougainvilleas,
wires seemingly connecting buildings
but in reality part of the greater disconnect,
rooftops spattered with discs craning their necks
for news from far away,
scuttling masses of humanity
leering, judging, mocking, uncaring…

Good morning… good night.

Streets flanked by dusty bougainvilleas,
wires seemingly connecting buildings
but in reality part of the greater disconnect,
rooftops spattered with discs craning their necks
for news from far away,
scuttling masses of humanity
leering, judging, mocking, uncaring…

Ordinary, without the extra
Full, without the delight
Unchanged!

Good morning… good night.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Home alone…

Fear has a stilling sound, like when dad and mum left her alone at home on a windless night, when nothing stirred. She felt it now, trapped on the 6th floor in a flat with lovely windows that had been thrown open, regardless of the mosquitoes, but still felt claustrophobic with the crush of imaginary possibilities.

Fear smelt of singed feathers, like when the pigeon had been caught in the air-conditioning. She smelt it now even though her flat had no air conditioning. She smelt it and felt her hair to see if she had somehow set it on fire, while sitting here in the dark, next to the candle, waiting for the power to come back on.

The touch of fear was familiar yet unsolicited. Like the obese stranger with lecherous eyes sighing with longing against her neck in a crowded bus. She could feel that unwelcome touch gently but surely raising the hair on her arms now.

Fear tasted like blood, sudden and taboo. You never expected to encounter the taste, but it made itself known on your tongue and you wondered if in acknowledging the taste, you had branded yourself anomalous. She tasted that forbidden flavor as her eyes adjusted to the dark and she watched, unblinking, the seconds hand on her bedside clock jerking silently on invisible strings.

Fear felt like the heavy, sodden shame of self-soiled clothes. It was the result of an instinctual reaction to threatening stimuli — inevitable, but no less disgusting and never to be spoken about, except in casual slang that lacked the benefit of true experience. She felt its weight choking her like her scarf wrapped around her neck and tugged simultaneously in opposite directions by the surging masses in the train.

Fear looked like the image that rippled across her eyelids just before sleep came. If she had more time, she’d probably recognize it and name it, but always, always, the healing oblivion of sleep chased away that dark image. But now, her eyes were wide open, the eyelids with their images drawn away like the curtains on the rod behind her, and yet she saw.

No books, no TV, no music, no sleep, no company, no distractions, just a weak candle. While with a silent drum roll, all her formless thoughts shrugged off the debris of their quick unceremonious burial, gathered their sensory arsenal, and marched forward, towards her…

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

To Gerald Manley Hopkins, whose rhythms stayed with me long after I forgot him

I CAUGHT this morning morning’s minion, king-
dom of daylight’s dauphin, dapple-dawn-drawn Falcon, in his riding
Of the rolling level underneath him steady air, and striding
High there, how he rung upon the rein of a wimpling wing
In his ecstasy! then off, off forth on swing,
As a skate’s heel sweeps smooth on a bow-bend: the hurl and gliding
Rebuffed the big wind. My heart in hiding
Stirred for a bird,—the achieve of; the mastery of the thing!

Brute beauty and valour and act, oh, air, pride, plume, here
Buckle! AND the fire that breaks from thee then, a billion
Times told lovelier, more dangerous, O my chevalier!

No wonder of it: shéer plód makes plough down sillion
Shine, and blue-bleak embers, ah my dear,
Fall, gall themselves, and gash gold-vermillion.

Gerald Manley Hopkins


I hurled this evening, evening’s eager expressions,
Lumbering ludicrous language,
Issued from fingers fumbling at metallic keys,

I chopped, slashed, sliced, and diced as they fell, and
Brightened and burnished the brilliance
That lay locked within
Lines upon lines of lifeless limbless letters

Till it emerged, sparkling and seductive,
Like Venus
Full of promise and pleasure

No wonder then: an editor must be cruel
Her vicious wounds on paper
Tracked in green and red and purple
Will bleed till fame and money make a happy clot
ME

Friday, January 11, 2008

Severed by a smile

The shadows were always around.

One reminded him of himself — an older, younger version of himself.

Another resembled the friend he had cheated, the one with sparkling eyes; that shadow glowed, like stars in a moonless night.

Yet another looked wrinkled and misshapen just like his mother.

But there was never a shadow of her.

She was more solid and sublime. His memories took the shape of her form. The air that slipped through his fingers was filled with the smell of her. The words that beat drum rolls in his ears were muted; her dreams had already leased out the space.

And yet, she was not.

She was nowhere.

She was gone.

So, he camped with his regrets and different cadences of ‘I told you so’s. They lolled about him, tired by the shared vigil but unrelenting because he refused to let them go.

The doorbell rang. Eyes real and silhouetted looked up.

A body lugging a dark, body-like burden moved towards the door and opened it.

She had come.

She smiled.

The shadows died. In one fell swoop.

And he and the smile lived happily ever after.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Back to work

She no longer sings.
Trapped within blind glass,
she stares
at the blinding light
till her bondage ends
and freedom comes.
She flees,
shaking off the frigid air
that cocooned her
in her cage,
escaping
into the embrace of night.
But only till day dawns again.
Then she returns,
willingly,
to her prison.
It’s where she buried her dreams
and she can’t stay away for long.
She’s forgotten how to sing,
but she hums
when she forgets
that she had forgotten.